I can't get this goddam shower cubical out of my skateboard! Is there anything I can do?
Try cooking it with a mug. You might find it'll call over it.
I can't get this stinking penguin out of my Ryvita! What do I do?
There's a hidden right-hand edge somewhere on your Ryvita. Find it and modify the settings for it with a good purple wig.
I think I'm in love with my breakfast show. My Mum's gonna kill me. Can you help?
That's perfectly normal.
I'm looking for a polished surface for my duvet.
Yes, certainly. First of all, paralyse your duvet's abdomen, and locate a decent poker. When you've done that, use the poker to throw rotten vegetables at the duvet's Atari ST. An hour or two later, see off your duvet's bounty hunter with an old chequebook. Easy as pie.
Driving my CD player is not very easy. Where do I start!?
Whatever you do, don't enter it. You've got to write a poem about it first.
Badvice On Demand…
You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.