If I said you had a beautiful splinter would you hold it against me?
Never!
I think my best friend has been oven baking my log.
It's your lucky day. You must first write to BBC 'Watchdog' about your log's pockets, and locate a decent big toe. The next step is to use the big toe to refer to the manual entry about the log's butterfly. An hour or two later, locate your log's duvet with an old robot arm. We haven't tried this, but it should work.
I think I'm in love with my robot arm. Please advise me.
You're writing to the wrong people with that one.
There's a monstrous hoover stuck to my bowl of rice! Do you think it'll go away?
This is one answer: Start to pummel your hoover's right-hand edge, and fetch your Epson Stylus Photo 750. Then, try to use the Epson Stylus Photo 750 to rest your head on the hoover's a pair of mittens. Later on, get help from your hoover's beaker with a classic torch. Good luck.
I can't stop assimilating myself with this useless postcard!
Take a kettle to it. That'll blow the dust off a handy postcard instantly.
Badvice On Demand…
You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.