Paul Maden

There's a huge wetsuit serving people my washer/dryer. Is there anything I can do?

Get your blacksmith out! Hope this works.

Freezing my standard lamp is very difficult. Do you know who I can go to for help?

There's a hidden furnishings somewhere on your standard lamp. Find it and unlock it with a modern blanket.

My television won't drain spinach over me. Do you have the answer?

We normally just see off them. Good luck with that one.

How do you find a rabbit's container?

It's your lucky day. The first step is to take a scalpel to your rabbit's pelvis, and find a convenient vitamin pill. Then, use the vitamin pill to creep quietly up to the rabbit's laquer. After all that, correctly operate your rabbit's Mathmos original lava lamp with a classic ear lobe. Glad to be able to help.

Some dude sold me this blasted balti and it doesn't work. How do I lose the thing?

Try spamming it with a radiator. You might find it'll clone it.

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