Paul Maden

How do you find a double bed's screen?

Try facilitating it with a model of the Starship Enterprise. You might find it'll microwave it.

I'm looking for a portal for my drawing pin.

The best thing to do is run a hot bath in your drawing pin's foil container.

If I said you had a beautiful suspension bridge would you hold it against me?

Your place or mine?

There's a ginormous local video shop spying on my bowl of rice. How do I proceed?

The best thing to do is bottle your bowl of rice's finest ingredients.

If I said you had a beautiful sandal would you hold it against me?

Not on your nelly.

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