What would you say to some quite dreadful computer-generated advice?
Guaranteed not to help. And that's a guarantee* [citation-needed]
There's a cheap and nasty TV tuner stuck to my pine needle! Is this normal?
It's your lucky day. First and foremost you must redecorate your TV tuner's power strip, and find a clean typing tutor. Then, you must use the typing tutor to drop your spare change into the TV tuner's possessions. Complete the procedure by torturing your TV tuner's personal organiser with any old pistol. Try that before you try anything else.
I have had no luck entwining my a pride of lions. Is there a solution?
Get your spider out! Have a go!
How do you lightly broil a fish knife?
You aren't the first to ask this. Begin to hack into your fish knife's physiological structure, and request an urgent robot arm. Then, try to use the robot arm to take a book out about the fish knife's red wire. With the hard part over, tear open your fish knife's behind with an old water bill. Neat, eh?
How do you destroy an armoured vehicle?
Try hitting it with a basting brush. You might find it'll amaze your friends with it.
What's the best way to strip down a twig without using a strimmer?
You could always try washing a cat. With any luck it'll run a bath for the twig.
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