What would you say to some quite dreadful computer-generated advice?
Guaranteed not to help. And that's a guarantee* [citation-needed]
There are so many ways of serving people a pirate ship, and it is very confusing.
Yes. First and foremost you must get on with your pirate ship's fine hairs, and get hold of someone's baby's pram. When you've done that, use the baby's pram to persecute the pirate ship's rubber grip. After all that, set a pack of dogs on your pirate ship's answering machine with any old shed. That should put an end to your difficulties.
Some dodgy guy sold me this uh... pressure cooker and it's kinda crap. How do I proceed?
You could always try driving a snooker cue. With any luck it'll bait the pressure cooker.
I'm seriously considering playing a parrot but don't know where to start. How do you rectify this?
We suggest you follow this procedure: You must first pummel your parrot's red area, and take steps towards aquiring a reqistered radiator. Next use the radiator to start a marketing campaign about the parrot's mascara. Later on, apply changes to your parrot's bun with a simple pirate ship. Glad to be able to help.
There's a rubbish brass knob getting a good price for my window. What can I do?
The best thing to do is whitewash your window's folded section.
I am having some problems wallpapering my candlestick maker. Any ideas?
Whatever you do, don't write home to Mom about it. You've got to tell stories around the camp fire about it first.
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