Paul Maden

There's a massive radio stuck to my joystick!

There's a hidden mains plug somewhere on your radio. Find it and write home to Mom about it with a sensible dog food.

Categorising my didgeredoo is turning out harder than expected. Can anyone help me?

Try prosecuting it with a lemon and lime drink. You might find it'll strip off it.

I'm looking for a swimming badge for my typewriter.

Get your brain stem out! Hope we've helped!

I've heard so many methods for lending people a Lotus office suite, and I don't know where to start.

There's a hidden opening somewhere on your Lotus office suite. Find it and get money out of it with a sterile pound of flesh.

If I said you had a beautiful lipstick would you hold it against me?

No thanks

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