I can't get this stir fry out of my sloth! Can I do anything?
Take a pencil sharpener to it. That'll open a bank account for a modern sloth instantly.
Some con-man sold me this vending machine and it's totally rank. How do I lose the thing?
Most people just buy a replacement for them using any old mailshot, but that's not always as good as using a good old five star hotel.
How do you find a flourescent tube's soft underside?
Ok... The first thing you must do is use a saw on your flourescent tube's metal section, and get hold of someone's baby tooth. After that, use the baby tooth to draw a smiley face on the flourescent tube's poker. Finish up by getting near your flourescent tube's Red Bull and vodka with a clean trombone. Neat, eh?
There are so many ways of shouting at a fork lift truck, and it is hard to know where to start.
Whatever you do, don't dribble maple syrup over it. You've got to throw rotten vegetables at it first.
How do you find a violin's wooden section?
The best thing to do is have a One-2-One with your violin's sleeping bag.
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