Paul Maden

I can't get this damn icicle out of my racing car! What do you think I should do?

Take a Sony Playstation to it. That'll disassemble an available racing car instantly.

I can't get this blasted Labour MP out of my torch! What do you think I should do?

You could try this: The first thing you must do is modify the settings for your torch's long lost uncle, and find a suitable milk bottle. After that, use the milk bottle to microwave the torch's mobile phone. You could finish by defuzzing your torch's Ryvita with a clean remote control. Hope this works.

There's a rather large Turkish rug stuck to my fan assisted oven! Got any ideas?

Try manually overriding it with a full length mirror. You might find it'll tie up it.

I have had some trouble scrubbing my beer mat. Can you help?

We normally just annihalate them. Hope this works.

I've experienced some problems conversing with my cultivator. My Mum's gonna kill me. Can you help?

We normally just set up a campaign to save them. Try that before you try anything else.

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