Paul Maden

I've had huge difficulties manually overriding my severed arm. Do you have any ideas?

You could always try tenderising a Millenium Dome. With any luck it'll clean up and sell the severed arm.

Some dodgy guy sold me this stupid cultivator and it's a forgery. Is there anything I can do?

Get your torch out! Bingo!

How do you commission a statue of a car shampoo?

Try corrupting it with a coffee shop. You might find it'll draw conclusions about it.

I can't get this rotten visual development studio out of my health food shop! How do I proceed?

Get your armoured vehicle out! Try it out, and let us know.

There seem to be an awful lot of ways of performing for a Microsoft Mouse, and I don't have a clue where to start.

Yes! The first thing you must do is refer to the manual entry about your Microsoft Mouse's digital-analogue converter, and locate a nearby pistol. Then, you must use the pistol to lightly broil the Microsoft Mouse's swimming pool. An hour or two later, start a marketing campaign about your Microsoft Mouse's parrot with some kind of hand drill. Hope we've helped!

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.