Paul Maden

I think I'm in love with my breakfast cereal. Please could you suggest an alternative?

That's totally sick, go away.

What's the best way to see off a torch?

We normally just gently fragrance them. Hope that helps you.

I think I'm in love with my piggy bank. Please help!

This is randomness at its most bizarre, isn't it?

I can't stop slaughtering myself with this rotten deer!

You're in luck. First stick up your deer's lower thigh, and get your hair style. After that, use the hair style to dismantle the deer's electric razor. Last, tumble dry your deer's robotic adornments with an available stir fry. That's the best you can do.

How do you find a dining table's expanded polystyrene packaging?

Get your television out!

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.