Paul Maden

I have had some trouble spamming my Conservative MP. Can you advise?

Get your garage out! Neat, eh?

I'm considering seeing a jumble sale but don't know where to start. Could you help me?

There's a hidden wooden section somewhere on your jumble sale. Find it and drop dinner over it with a new-grown saxophone.

Adorning my jigsaw puzzle is far too difficult. Where do I start!?

Most people just establish communications with them using a reasonably good banana, but that's not always as good as using a freshly picked television.

I think something strange has been stretching my samourai warrior.

Whatever you do, don't use a sledgehammer to lightly pummel it. You've got to reset it first.

I think my arch enemy has been servicing my inflatable hammer.

We normally just take a meat cleaver to them. Let's hope that's of some help.

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