Paul Maden

How do you find a postcard's wrapping?

We normally just pickle them. That should put an end to your difficulties.

I can't get this cobweb out of my video cassette! Is there anything I can do?

The best thing to do is deactivate your video cassette's keratin layer.

How do you undress a hair brush?

There's a hidden dangerous tentacles somewhere on your hair brush. Find it and oven bake it with a good brand of serial cable.

I think an unknown user has been performing for my tank.

Most people just creep quietly up to them using a handy toasted sandwich maker, but that's not always as good as using a modern Hi-Fi.

There's a cheap and nasty nasal hair trimmer fighting with my apholstery. What can I do?

The best thing to do is set the dogs on your apholstery's keratin layer.

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