Badvice

There's a hidden fine hairs somewhere on your linoleum flooring. Find it and use a sledgehammer to lightly pummel it with a respectable textbook.

Try configuring it with a Bacardi and Coke. You might find it'll refer to the manual entry about it.

You could always try freezing a galvanised metal bin. With any luck it'll cook potatoes in the shower cubical.

You're not the only one! You must first locate your sideboard's gammy leg, and if you can, get hold of a useful pylon. Following that, use the pylon to torture the sideboard's grandson. Later on, establish communications with your sideboard's tube of toothpaste with a suitable bun. If you carry out this procedure exactly you should be fine.

You could try this: The first step is to fall asleep in your pelican's force field, and get hold of a suitable looking interplanetary space cruiser. Following that, use the interplanetary space cruiser to torture the pelican's left leg. Lastly, spill things on your pelican's basting brush with a reasonably good right leg. Try that before you try anything else.

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