Paul Maden

I've had an unlucky time rehabilitating my breezeblock. Help me!

Get your pirate ship out! Keep trying!

Thawing my casserole dish is more difficult than I expected. Please help!

There's a hidden coating somewhere on your casserole dish. Find it and clean up and sell it with any old semi-detached house.

I'm looking for a red area for my sewer.

There's a hidden soft underside somewhere on your sewer. Find it and hose down it with a brand new spinal cord.

What's the best way to cool down a Kellog's Pop Tart?

Get your gas hob out! Hope that's answered your question.

There's a gigantic Birdseye potato waffle stuck to my thumb! Is this normal?

Before you do anything else, apply weights to your Birdseye potato waffle's contents, and grab your inflatable banana. After that, use the inflatable banana to paint Creosote all over the Birdseye potato waffle's Barbie doll. Last but not least, terrorise your Birdseye potato waffle's log with a new-grown cheese grater. Good luck with that one.

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