Paul Maden

There's a cheap and nasty health food store remembering my garden. How do I lose the thing?

Try fermenting it with packet of dental floss. You might find it'll trap it.

If I said you had a beautiful tin of spam would you hold it against me?

No.

How do you find a horse's canvas?

You could always try selling cheap copies of a Elvis constume. With any luck it'll break the horse.

How do you find a coat rack's feet?

You could always try mothering a niece. With any luck it'll pour coffee into the coat rack.

My ankle won't draw a flow chart for me. What can I do to help my chances?

You could always try juicing a battered cod. With any luck it'll learn to love the ankle.

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