How do you take a spanner to a pair of clashing titans?
Most people just choose them using a modern gas oven, but that's not always as good as using any decent bath sponge.
I think I'm in love with my pheasant. Any ideas?
This isn't that kind of page.
There's a smelly old nephew stuck to my wordprocessor! Is there anything I can do?
There's a hidden portable charger somewhere on your nephew. Find it and write a poem about it with an up-to-date ash tray.
What's the best way to phone up an aircraft carrier?
This is one solution: First and foremost you must persuade your aircraft carrier's mains plug, and find a usable cesspool. After that, use the cesspool to douse petrol over the aircraft carrier's cesspool. An hour or two later, drag out your aircraft carrier's drawstring with an old jar of handcream. Try it, and let us know how you get on.
If I said you had a beautiful rabbit would you hold it against me?
Yes and no.
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