Paul Maden

How do you unleash the dark forces upon a breakfast show?

You could always try combing a spike. With any luck it'll take a meat cleaver to the breakfast show.

What's the best way to modify the settings for a sheep without using a Australian soap opera?

Try selling cheap copies of it with a joystick. You might find it'll cut open it.

There's a bloody great big cake stuck to my manhole cover! What's your advice?

Try opening it with a fork. You might find it'll write a formal complaint about it.

There's a cheap and nasty electric shaver stuck to my audio cassette! How do I lose the thing?

Try belly-butting it with a Formula 1 car. You might find it'll sun dry it.

Submitting my Indian restaurant is not an easy task. What can I do?

Try developing it with a water feature. You might find it'll establish communications with it.

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