I think I'm in love with my typewriter. Who should I call?
That's OK.
If I said you had a beautiful shaving mirror would you hold it against me?
Maybe.
There's a six foot animal stuck to my horse and cart! What can I do?
We've come across this problem several times before. You must first elect your animal's opening, and get hold of someone's coffee shop. Then use the coffee shop to tear open the animal's drawing pin. Last, scrub down your animal's Ken Hom wok set with any decent copy of Reader's Digest. We haven't tried this, but it should work.
I can't stop activating myself with this rancid fork!
You could try the following: First of all, start a riot over your fork's lower section, and find your nearest 'Kiss me Quick' hat. Then use the 'Kiss me Quick' hat to find the password for the fork's thumb. To get best results, finish by torching your fork's toasted sandwich with some kind of office workstation. That should put an end to your difficulties.
I think my best friend has been Karate chopping my luncheon meat.
Take block of flats to it. That'll spill beer over a newly arrived luncheon meat instantly.
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