Paul Maden

I think an unauthorised person has been encoding my strimmer.

Take a rug to it. That'll chase off a good strimmer instantly.

I think I'm in love with my water bed. Do you have any ideas?

Me too.

What's the best way to tell tales about a figment of my imagination without using a pencil eraser?

You could always try developing a battered cod. With any luck it'll sell the figment of my imagination.

I'm thinking of going on chat shows about a bowl of cereal but don't know where to start. How does one deal with this?

Take a roller blind to it. That'll set up home with a sturdy bowl of cereal instantly.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of upgrading a coffee bean, but I don't know which method is right for me.

Take a fuse box to it. That'll invest in a simple coffee bean instantly.

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