What would you say to some quite dreadful computer-generated advice?
Guaranteed not to help. And that's a guarantee* [citation-needed]
What's the best way to write a poem about a paperclip?
Yes, there is something you can do. Start to totally wreck your paperclip's more attractive sister, and fetch a suitable Roland TR-909. Then, use the Roland TR-909 to punch the paperclip's mother-in-law. With that over, refer to the manual entry about your paperclip's house with a handy shaving mirror. Have a go!
There's a six foot hedge trimmer stuck to my water bed! What should I do?
Get your tiger out! That should do nicely.
What's the best way to chase off a coat rack without using a distance learning package?
The best thing to do is persuade your coat rack's clubbing gear.
There are many ways of fathering a local pay phone, and it is very confusing.
Get your ream of paper out! Bingo!
There's a huge standard lamp stuck to my Mathmos original lava lamp! Do you think it'll go away?
The best thing to do is commission a statue of your standard lamp's secret compartment.
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