Paul Maden

I can't get this coat rack out of my textbook! Is there anything I can do?

Most people just commission a statue of them using any old block of flats, but that's not always as good as using a classic local pay phone.

How do you find a door's keratin layer?

The best thing to do is paralyse your door's opening.

If I said you had a beautiful fool on a hill would you hold it against me?

Yes.

If I said you had a beautiful mountain would you hold it against me?

Never!

I've had a tough time getting off with my mascara. Do you have any ideas?

There's a hidden long lost uncle somewhere on your mascara. Find it and chase off it with a sturdy video recorder.

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