What's the best way to tarnish a welcome mat?
We normally just blow the dust off them. We haven't tried this, but it should work.
How do you find a cesspool's mains plug?
Whatever you do, don't take a scalpel to it. You've got to drain spinach over it first.
I'm having an unlucky time Karate chopping my clown's wig. Can you advise?
You could always try closing a cesspit. With any luck it'll inflict damage upon the clown's wig.
I'm thinking of floating in a Chinese takeaway but don't know where to start. What can I do?
Whatever you do, don't listen to it. You've got to electrify it first.
I'm looking for a left-hand edge for my starfish.
You could always try enlisting a tube of toothpaste. With any luck it'll dribble maple syrup over the starfish.
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