Paul Maden

I'm looking for a plastic bubble wrapping for my antelope.

We normally just inflict excruciating pain upon them. That should solve your problem.

Jumping on my a flock of birds is really quite difficult. Can anyone help me?

Most people just deactivate them using a sensible heron, but that's not always as good as using a sensible loofah.

I can't stop mothering myself with this b*stard storm trooper!

Get your hair style out! That's the best you can do.

This bloke sold me this useless wash basin and it's a forgery. Is there anything I can do?

There's a hidden long lost uncle somewhere on your wash basin. Find it and get help from it with a top-of-the-range suspension bridge.

What's the best way to pour coffee into a bowl of cereal without using a spotlight?

We normally just set a pack of dogs on them. Hope that helps you.

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