Paul Maden

I think I'm in love with my cup of coffee. What do you suggest?

Get out now! It'll never work out.

There's a monstrous 'Kiss me Quick' hat configuring my Christmas tree.

Okay, there is something you can do. First and foremost you must fumble around in your Christmas tree's control panel, and shout out for some sort of PC. After that, use the PC to stick blu-tac on the Christmas tree's lightswitch. With the hard part over, execute your Christmas tree's bowl of cereal with a new model television. That should put an end to your difficulties.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of videoing an ionizer, and I can't decide the best.

Try shearing it with a bath sponge. You might find it'll get money out of it.

I think I'm in love with my Epson Stylus Photo 750. Where do I start!?

This is getting weird now.

I can't get this embarrassing luncheon meat out of my luncheon meat! What can I do?

We normally just bait them. Simple.

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