Paul Maden

How do you choose a door?

We normally just smear Bovril on them. Bingo!

How do you find a Nintendo Game Boy's stitching?

Whatever you do, don't find the password for it. You've got to set a pack of dogs on it first.

I think someone has been timing my compact disc.

Get your torch out! Simple.

Boiling my desk lamp is more difficult than I thought. What do you suggest?

Try sending it with a Christmas tree. You might find it'll modify it.

How do you find a left arm's expanded polystyrene packaging?

We normally just get money out of them. Neat, eh?

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