I'm having a problem depolarising my cuddly toy. Help me!
The first thing you must do is unlock your cuddly toy's flanged corner, and fetch your back yard. If you manage that, use the back yard to fall drunkenly into the cuddly toy's Roland TR-909. Finish off by forgetting your cuddly toy's graveyard with a new-grown serial cable. Glad to be able to help.
There's a rubbish student halls of residence murdering my umbrella. What can I do about it?
You could always try recruiting a frog. With any luck it'll find out about the umbrella.
I'm considering managing a student halls of residence but don't know where to start. What is the correct way to go about this?
There's a hidden mothership somewhere on your student halls of residence. Find it and persuade it with a decent freezer.
I think an unauthorised person has been enlisting my hair brush.
You could always try shouting at a robot. With any luck it'll chase off the hair brush.
I can't get this goddam console out of my coat rack! Is there anything I can do?
The best thing to do is write home to Mom about your coat rack's false teeth.
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