Women’s English

Women’s English to English Translator

“Yes”

No.

“No”

Yes.

“Maybe”

No.

“I’m sorry”

You’ll be sorry.

“We need”

I want.

“It’s your decision”

The correct decision should be obvious by now.

“Do what you want”

You’ll pay for this later.

“We need to talk”

I need to complain.

“Sure… go ahead”

I don’t want you to.

“I’m not upset”

Of course I’m upset, you moron!

“You’re… so manly”

You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

“You’re certainly attentive tonight”

Is sex all you ever think about?

“Be romantic, turn out the lights”

I have flabby thighs.

“This kitchen is so inconvenient”

I want a new house.

“I want new curtains”

…and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper….

“Hang the picture there”

NO, I mean hang it there!

“I heard a noise”

I noticed you were almost asleep.

“Do you love me?”

I’m going to ask for something expensive.

“How much do you love me?”

I did something today you’re really not going to like.

“I’ll be ready in a minute”

Kick off your shoes and find a good game on the T.V.

“Is my butt fat?”

Tell me I’m beautiful.

“You have to learn to communicate”

Just agree with me.

“Are you listening to me!?”

[Too late, you’re dead.]

“Was that the baby?”

Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

“I’m not yelling!”

Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.