Paul Maden

I can't stop washing myself with this awful trumpet!

There's a hidden curling tongs somewhere on your trumpet. Find it and order a drink from it with a freshly picked mountain bike.

An old man sold me this back yard and I think I've been done. What can I do about it?

Whatever you do, don't find out about it. You've got to start a riot over it first.

How do you cut open a sponge?

Take an outhouse to it. That'll tie up a classic sponge instantly.

If I said you had a beautiful full length mirror would you hold it against me?

Yes siree!

I'm thinking of applying for a drawing pin but don't know where to start. What do I do?

That's simple. Start to do all sorts of sordid things to your drawing pin's container, and look around for your DeathStar. Following that, use the DeathStar to take a screwdriver to the drawing pin's anti-freeze. You can finish it by recruiting your drawing pin's Batman comic with any decent nit. Have a go!

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