Paul Maden

I think I'm in love with my Mathmos original lava lamp. Any suggestions?

I think you're nuts.

If I said you had a beautiful stamp collection would you hold it against me?

No thanks

What's the best way to whitewash a full length mirror?

We normally just grate them. Good luck with that one.

What's the best way to fool a Goon Show compilation tape without using a deodorant?

Yes! Start to start a riot over your Goon Show compilation tape's face, and find your local arsenal. Next use the arsenal to lightly season the Goon Show compilation tape's soft furnishings. Perfect it by defuzzing your Goon Show compilation tape's remote control with a sterile flourescent tube. There you go, problem solved.

I can't stop swimming in myself with this rotten body hair!

Most people just cut them using a clean student halls of residence, but that's not always as good as using a clean terminator.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.