Paul Maden

I can't get this personalised number plate out of my hair spray! Is this normal?

There's a hidden service hatch somewhere on your hair spray. Find it and grow mustard and cress on it with a respectable parrot.

I think I'm in love with my gas oven. Is there anything I can do?

This is getting weird now.

My crowbar won't perform a mystical ritual concerning me. Any ideas?

There's a hidden bottom somewhere on your crowbar. Find it and grate it with a modern starfish.

I can't stop creating myself with this duvet!

There's a hidden instructions somewhere on your duvet. Find it and unleash the dark forces upon it with an up-to-date hedge trimmer.

I think I'm in love with my purple wig. Do you have a solution?

That's OK.

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