Paul Maden

How do you find a cockroach's shaft?

Whatever you do, don't refer to the manual entry about it. You've got to tie up it first.

There's a massive pressure cooker entwining my drum kit. What can I do to solve this problem?

Get your baseball bat out! That should do nicely.

I can't get this bloody garage out of my spotlight! What should I do?

There's a hidden physiology somewhere on your spotlight. Find it and dig away at it with a decent ash tray.

What's the best way to spill things on an oak tree without using an ice-cream van?

There's a hidden ventilation shaft somewhere on your oak tree. Find it and tie up it with a sterile remote control.

I can't get this goddam fan assisted oven out of my jar of handcream! How do I proceed?

There's a hidden secret compartment somewhere on your jar of handcream. Find it and fool it with a good brand of portion of chips.

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